Reporting by Ada Stout
Graphics by Rachna Setlur
Harry Potter, Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama, Plato and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez all have one thing in common–they were all mentees! None of these figures would be in leadership positions without support from mentors that guided them personally and professionally.
Mentorship can be a very daunting undertaking, as experts and leaders can be intimidating people to have personal conversations with. It can be even more difficult to establish personal goals or decide what kind of relationship you want. Luckily there are many steps and resources for those who want to be a mentor or find one.
As a mentee, you should know your goals, or at least have a rough idea of what you are seeking from a mentorship. Not having an idea of your goals might make it hard for a mutually beneficial relationship to be created– mentors are more inclined to be open to a relationship if you have specific goals or even a personal pitch ready to go.
Jose Huitron, a business professor at Cal Poly with more than 10 years of experience in the industry, has been both a mentor and mentee throughout his career. He brought up a concept that he follows from one of his favorite books: Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust written by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith.
In this book, Brogan and Smith define trust agents in terms more applicable to the business world, as a seller who establishes trust in the world of tech savvy, informed and distrusting consumers. Huitron frames it in more of a personal way, taking these ideas of “learn by trying” and development of soft skills and transforming them into guidelines for mentorship relations.
“We build trust when we multiply credibility, reliability, intimacy and then divide this by our self-orientation. In other words, we build trust by focusing on being a mensch as opposed to centering everything on oneself,” Huitron explained.
This idea of being a mensch, or a trust agent, has been critical to Huitron’s professional and personal relationships, between peers, family and employers. The exact definition of a “mensch,” which comes from the Yiddish language, means “a person of integrity and honor” according to Merriam Webster.
The modern word is used as a compliment that insinuates the unique value of a person's qualities. Its impact on pop culture can be seen in children’s books like Mensch on a Bench, as the mascot for Israel's baseball team, or just a common phrase used across the world.
Finding a mentor who is also a mensch is the best case scenario. Not only will you get invaluable guidance in your career, but you'll also get support to strengthen your character and integrity.
After determining what you want to gain from a mentorship, there are more options to consider. Formal mentorships may include a structured relationship with established goals you set out to achieve. For example, fashion icon Anna Wintour mentored Andre Leon Talley, Vogue Magazine's first Black Creative Director, in the early days of his career as he was establishing his place in the fashion journalism industry.
Many communities have programs oriented towards formal mentorships, especially for those who are unsure where to start or aren’t established in their career. Cal Poly Women In Business Association has a program designed to pair mentees and mentors. Entry Engagement is perfect for those who are looking for large, small and individual group meetings.
Additionally, Score, a large network of business mentors aimed to help small businesses, can also be found right here in San Luis Obispo. They have a program for female entrepreneurs, where you can apply specifically for mentors and attend workshops or webinars about financial resources like grants or other funding options.
Informal mentorships are more common and are created from natural relationships in and outside of the workplace. Colette Lelchuk, an Associate Partner at a global brand consultancy, found that the guidance she received was important to her professional development and came mostly from informal mentors.
“I think that a lot of people are similar to myself – they have multiple people that they'll call to talk to about different things or spend time with,” she explained. Differing perspectives on certain situations have allowed Lelchuk to develop a larger sense of self awareness and what she calls “other-people awareness,” also known as a growth mindset.
Growth mindsets are important for embracing change and being resilient against all odds. According to Harvard Business Review, “Individuals who believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others) have a growth mindset.” A fixed mindset can restrict adaptability skills, which are important for big industries that are changing faster than ever before.
This is also where being a “mensch” and maintaining the values of respect and integrity becomes a professional skill. These values go hand-in-hand with a growth mindset in situations like accepting constructive criticism or advice. Mentors want mentees willing to recognize faults and be willing to adapt their goals or position.
Importance of mentors for women and minorities
Women and minorities face inequalities in pay and treatment, often overlooked and overburdened. Knowing how and why to pursue a mentor should be something they consider to bolster confidence and give insight into what is fair and what isn’t.
“Corporate America values the loudest voice in the room,” Lelchuk remarked. “As a woman, I think there's an art to making sure your voice is being heard and pushing back at times if I feel like I have more knowledge than them as relates to a subject.”
For minorities, culture and lived experience can make perspectives more valuable in this evolving market. To have a mentor of similar background or culture can validate experiences and support mentees in speaking up in intimidating situations.
For a mentor, it can be a chance to pass down expertise and perspectives in a deep way to make sure a legacy endures. Mentees can even teach them new things about their fields that have recently emerged. Mentorships can be truly mutually beneficial if nurtured and appreciated over time.
Huitron expressed that the most important part of the mentorship process is not only being interested in their role as your mentor, but also invested in them as a person.
“People can tell when someone is disinterested or fueled by selfish ambitions. Nobody likes to be sold. For me, it's all about appreciation for the person in front of you with no regard for anything in return,” Huitron said.
Stay true to the goals you set for yourself and the values or expertise you are looking for in a mentor. Otherwise, mentors will see right through a facade and may not want to connect. Don’t pursue a mentorship based on someone’s position at a company or reputation. While these can be helpful factors an authentic connection will overpower superficiality.
“Be true to yourself and embrace the possibility of making meaningful connections,” Huitron advised. “Seek out individuals with relevant experience in your target industry or area of interest. Pay it forward by being helpful and genuinely curious. Practice active listening and take good notes.”
Being a mensch —someone who is authentic, trustworthy, curious, and supportive—will always pay dividends in life.