November 22, 2020 by Alyson Smith
The American population encompasses many mixed-race individuals. The United States Census Bureau reported that in 2019, almost 9.2 million Americans chose two or more races when asked to racially identify on census forms.
This mixed-race population is expected to experience steady growth. A Pew Research Center study found that the proportion of mixed-race Americans is growing at a rate three times faster than the nation’s overall population.
Nevertheless, the stories of mixed-race Americans often remain untold and unheard. Nationwide, discussions on race and racism are limited to two perspectives: Black and Indigenous people of color (BIPOC) and white people. The third perspective, told by mixed-race Americans, is largely excluded from popular media. There is also little consideration for the societal hardships unique to mixed-race people, such as the difficulties in finding community or obtaining a sense of belonging.
“I’ve had problems finding people I can identify with since I was a little kid, and I think a lot of mixed people feel the same way – especially if you’re mixed with white,” Lily Elola, a half white and half African American Cal Poly student, said.
Elola, an environmental science and physics sophomore, was encouraged to join cultural clubs, such as the Black Student Union (BSU), when she first arrived at Cal Poly. Those who encouraged her to do so thought that, as a student of color on a predominantly white campus, she would want to immerse herself in Cal Poly’s cultural community. Elola, however, had no interest in doing so.
“It felt really inauthentic because I had never identified as fully African American,” she explained. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable in a BSU setting, being so light-skinned and so white-passing, even though I know I am Black.”
Food science sophomore Aliya Adegoke, who is also half white and half African American, had a similar experience. She, too, was encouraged to join Cal Poly cultural clubs, and even attended a handful of BSU events during her first year.
“I tried to go to a couple of BSU meetings on campus, but I felt so out of place because I’ve never been surrounded by that many people of color or Black people,” Adegoke said. “I’ve just gotten so used to being around white people.”
While Elola, Adegoke and countless other mixed-race individuals often experience feelings of disconnect with their cultural side, and consequently feel out of place among other people of color, this is not true for all mixed-race students.
Psychology senior Serenah Clark, who is half white and half Asian, sometimes feels more at ease in environments composed mostly of people of color than she does in white-dominated settings.
“When I go to spaces where there are a lot more people of color, I feel like it’s okay for me to say that I’m a person of color, whereas, in other spaces, I feel like I have to put up that caveat that I’m biracial or white,” she said.
Clark hadn’t thought much about that caveat before coming to Cal Poly. It wasn’t until she arrived at Cal Poly, where the overwhelmingly white student population made her realize the dichotomies between different racial identities, that she began to consider her own mixed-race identity.
“There was a weird disconnect because I didn’t really consider myself white, so I felt like I didn’t relate to most of the students [at Cal Poly],” Clark said. “But at the same time, I was at a privilege because I’m so white-passing, so I could fit in.”
Clark’s experience is not uncommon. Most mixed-race individuals frequently experience Racial Imposter Syndrome, which NPR described as a mixed-race person “feeling ‘fake’ or inauthentic in some part of their racial or ethnic heritage.”
Racial Imposter Syndrome, according to Mental Health America, can cause a mixed-race person to “question [their] experiences and sense of identity, especially when it comes to the way in which the world sees [them],” or, in Clark’s case, the way in which the Cal Poly student population sees her.
“I was always afraid of what people thought of me,” Clark admitted. “I didn’t know whether they saw me as a person of color or as a white person, and not knowing what other people perceive you as is kind of unsettling.”
Racial Imposter Syndrome can also cause mixed-race individuals to struggle with how they perceive themselves, leaving them feeling like they do not fit in with one, if not both, of their races. Adegoke has long grappled with these feelings of displacement.
“I haven’t always been able to fully identify with my Black side, but then I also don’t feel like I fully fit into my white side because I’ve always looked a little different, and my hair has always been different, and no one has ever really understood that,” she said.
This feeling is nothing new to Adegoke, who grew up in a predominantly white town and attended a predominantly white high school. It has been easier for Adegoke to balance her racial identities at Cal Poly, as opposed to a campus with greater racial diversity simply because she knows what is expected of her as a mixed person in a white-dominated space.
“It almost felt comfortable to be [at Cal Poly] because I’ve been surrounded by so many white people for so long,” Adegoke explained. “I think I would feel like even more of an imposter if I went to a school with more Black people or more people of color.”
Mixed-race students at Cal Poly still face many hardships, however. The notable lack of racial diversity means that mixed-race students are sometimes the only students of color in the classroom. They are often expected to represent racial minorities and to identify with the hardships endured by people of color because, as Elola puts it, “when you’re in a white setting, ‘biracial’ is just ‘racial.’”
This can heighten a mixed-race student’s feelings of Racial Imposter Syndrome. These students may feel that their mixed identity invalidates their experiences with race and racism, or that their experience as a mixed-race person is inadequate or less notable than that of a person who identifies with a single race.
“I personally have a hard time championing the Black Lives Matter movement,” Elola said. “While at Cal Poly, I’m definitely Black enough to do so. Back at home, I’m nowhere near understanding the struggles of a Black woman because I don’t have Black textured hair and I have lighter skin.”
Elola has been reluctant to speak on Black Lives Matter and other issues surrounding race and racism since high school, when a close friend, who Elola described as “very Black-passing with dark skin and curly, textured hair,” accused her of not understanding the struggles of Black women.
“The end of our friendship was her spitting on my face and yelling at me that I was not Black enough to identify as a woman of color,” she said. “Because of that, I’ve been very, very hesitant to champion the [Black Lives Matter] movement because I’ve been told I’m not Black enough.”
Countless mixed-race people struggle with feeling connected to their racial or ethnic heritages. Pew Research Center has found that racial identity in mixed-race individuals is influenced by a number of factors, including appearance, upbringing and ancestry. The same study found that as many as 21 percent of mixed-race adults feel pressured to identify as a single race. These factors compound to cause turmoil around the identities of mixed-race individuals.
“There’s a lot of contention between the different sides of you,” Elola stated. “One side is the oppressor, and one side is the oppressed.”
There are no immediate solutions for Racial Imposter Syndrome, nor for the inner-turmoil most mixed-race individuals endure. There are, however, ways in which Cal Poly can make its campus climate more welcoming to mixed-race students. Elola and Adegoke believe that starts with the admissions process.
More than 50 percent of Cal Poly students are white, resulting in a pressure on mixed-race students to either conform to the predominantly white population or to adopt the role of the “token” minority student on campus. Increased racial diversity on campus could alleviate one, or both, of these pressures.
Cal Poly has claimed to be working toward creating a more diverse campus, but statistics show that the number of racial minorities at Cal Poly increases by less than one percent each year.
“I’m really sick of hearing Cal Poly say they’re doing their best to accept people of color,” Elola said. “I want to see that sentiment start to translate into the numbers.”
Adegoke expressed similar concerns.
“As much as [Cal Poly] says they take race into account and want more students of color here, it just doesn’t show when the next class shows up with the same ratio of white people to people of color as before,” Adegoke echoed.
Clark offered an alternate solution, stating, “I think Cal Poly needs to acknowledge the experience of mixed-race students more.” She suggested starting a dialogue about the mixed-race experience so that mixed students could seek validation with one another. Community and shared experience could help to ease Racial Imposter Syndrome or other feelings of displacement.
“I took a class called Intergroup Dialogues where we had to get into groups with people who had our same racial identity,” Clark said. “Being able to be with other people who were multiracial was a really validating experience for me.”